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1 Funny Jokes Which i found! on Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:18 pm

Fred100

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(1) Teacher: William, what is the outer part of a tree called?
William: I don't know, sir.
Teacher: Bark, boy, bark.
William: Woof-woof.

(2) My ex-girlfriend sent her photograph to a lonely hearts club. They sent it back saying that they weren't that lonely.

(3) Policeman: I stopped you because you were doing over fifty miles an hour.
Motorist: That's impossible, I've been driving for less than an hour.

(4) A man in his 40's bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Merecedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 110.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." lol!

(5) I was teacher's pet last year.
Why was that?
He couldn't afford a dog.

(6) Pupil: Would you punish someone for something that they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: That's good, because I haven't done my homework.

(7) Teacher: If I subtract 14 from 99,
what's the difference?
Pupil: That's what I say. Who cares.

( 8 )
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don't cry man it's a joke Very Happy

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2 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:09 pm

ankillien

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HAHA!
I liked the last one

lol!

Keep sharing like this bro Very Happy

3 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:11 pm

Fred100

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You like it?
I'll post more tomorow cause i'll receive another tomorow

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4 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:13 pm

ankillien

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I'll also share my fav jokes collection Very Happy
I've saved it in a word document Razz

5 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:17 pm

Fred100

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Oh cool
I'd love to see those!
LOL My father does the same

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6 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Thu Dec 24, 2009 10:56 pm

ankillien

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Difference Friend and Best Friend :

When you are in hospital:

Friend asks: How are you ?

Best friend asks: Hey boss, hows the nurse. !!



Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.



A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."



If big elephants have big trunks, do small elephants have suitcases?


What a Face ENJOY What a Face

7 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Fri Dec 25, 2009 2:12 am

Sanket

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Good ones Wink


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8 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Fri Dec 25, 2009 9:57 pm

Fred100

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LOL Funny one anki

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9 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Fri Dec 25, 2009 10:00 pm

karna

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Nice jokes Fred and ankillien Very Happy
Those really makes me laugh

10 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:44 pm

Fred100

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LOL I got a funny one in my maril
So here it is

Teacher - Jimmy , Tell me where is the Eiffel Tower?
Jimmy - I Don't know sir.
Teacher - STAND ON YOUR BENCH.
Jimmy - It Isn't visible yet sir.

& I got one in hindi
चिंटू- पापा मुझे बाजा दिला दो।

पापा- नही तुम सबको तंग करोगे।

चिंटू- नही पापा कसम से जब सब सो जाएंगे तब मैं बजाऊंगा।

**TRANSLATE**
Chintu - Dad , Please buy me a trumpet.

Dad - No , You'll make noises from it all the time.
Chintu - No Dad i swear i'll Play it when everyone's asleep

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11 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:57 pm

Sanket

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I got a PJ, does anyone want to hear? Laughing


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12 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:29 pm

Fred100

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LOL
I wanna know what's that PJ
Does that PJ stands for "Pakau joke"?(Boring Joke)

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13 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:47 pm

Veljko

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Here are some I know.

There is one blonde in a club. She's talking to waitress. She saw her identification on her breasts and she said. - Oh you have named your left boob Stacy. What's the other one's name?

There is a fat woman in front of magical mirror.
- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is fairest of all?
And then mirror said : - Can you move...? I don't see a thing.

What does blonde girl says when she says a banana on her way...
- Damn it. I'm gonna fall again. -_-

There are two blondes in club. First one says:
- You see those two men there. Left one is my husband, the right one is my lover. It's fun.
- Sweet. But for me it's other way around.

What's the irony...?
- When you die from bird flu and the active one is swine flu...

Two geeks are talking on phone.
- I'm home alone...
- Great, you can study loudly.

Here comes the geography teacher.
- I'm heart.
- Where?
- Southwest from kitney.

14 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:52 pm

ankillien

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Nice ones Veljko. Thanks for sharing What a Face

15 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:58 pm

Fred100

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Veljko wrote:Here are some I know.

There is one blonde in a club. She's talking to waitress. She saw her identification on her breasts and she said. - Oh you have named your left boob Stacy. What's the other one's name?

There is a fat woman in front of magical mirror.
- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is fairest of all?
And then mirror said : - Can you move...? I don't see a thing.

What does blonde girl says when she says a banana on her way...
- Damn it. I'm gonna fall again. -_-

There are two blondes in club. First one says:
- You see those two men there. Left one is my husband, the right one is my lover. It's fun.
- Sweet. But for me it's other way around.
LOL I found these ones funny lol!

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16 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:01 am

Sanket

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Fred100 wrote:LOL
I wanna know what's that PJ
Does that PJ stands for "Pakau joke"?(Boring Joke)
Yes


There is this guy in a boat in the middle of the ocean. He doesn't have anything to eat etc. He feels like having the only cigarette he has, but he has nothing else. So how will he have the cigarette?


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17 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:12 am

Fred100

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How will he have the ciggarete?
Is it incomplete?
OR is it supposed to be like that
Holy Sh*t I had to think for this joke
& I have a question is this really a joke?

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18 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:17 am

Sanket

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Consider, he has a cigarette. But nothing else.

what will he do then?


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19 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:30 am

ankillien

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He has only a cigaratte and nothing else Laughing poor guy.
He can't even light it?

20 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:37 am

Sanket

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Yes but he does have it in the end, you tell me how !


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21 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:40 am

ankillien

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Sanket wrote:Yes but he does have it in the end, you tell me how !

Can't get Mad
you tell now.

22 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:44 am

Sanket

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Okay, please do not kill me.
Spoiler:
He knows swimming, he jumps into the water. The boat becomes lighter


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23 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:50 am

ankillien

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aaaaaaaaaaaa

What a killing joke lol!

24 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:53 am

Sanket

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There is one more version...to it.
Spoiler:
He throws the cigarette a few times in the air & catches it, continues doing it a few times. We all know "Catches win Matches"


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25 Re: Funny Jokes Which i found! on Mon Dec 28, 2009 6:03 am

Fred100

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Oh thats how it's supposed to be
Nice joke btw

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