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Funny Jokes Which i found! Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:18 pm
Fred100
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Age : 29
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(1) Teacher: William, what is the outer part of a tree called?
William: I don't know, sir.
Teacher: Bark, boy, bark.
William: Woof-woof.
(2) My ex-girlfriend sent her photograph to a lonely hearts club. They sent it back saying that they weren't that lonely.
(3) Policeman: I stopped you because you were doing over fifty miles an hour.
Motorist: That's impossible, I've been driving for less than an hour.
(4) A man in his 40's bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Merecedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 110.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
(5) I was teacher's pet last year.
Why was that?
He couldn't afford a dog.
(6) Pupil: Would you punish someone for something that they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: That's good, because I haven't done my homework.
(7) Teacher: If I subtract 14 from 99,
what's the difference?
Pupil: That's what I say. Who cares.
( 8 )
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don't cry man it's a joke
(1) Teacher: William, what is the outer part of a tree called?
William: I don't know, sir.
Teacher: Bark, boy, bark.
William: Woof-woof.
(2) My ex-girlfriend sent her photograph to a lonely hearts club. They sent it back saying that they weren't that lonely.
(3) Policeman: I stopped you because you were doing over fifty miles an hour.
Motorist: That's impossible, I've been driving for less than an hour.
(4) A man in his 40's bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Merecedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 110.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
(5) I was teacher's pet last year.
Why was that?
He couldn't afford a dog.
(6) Pupil: Would you punish someone for something that they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: That's good, because I haven't done my homework.
(7) Teacher: If I subtract 14 from 99,
what's the difference?
Pupil: That's what I say. Who cares.
( 8 )
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don't cry man it's a joke
